sleepless

o-dawgtheinvincible:

sigmarikz:

certaflyably:

thirstingaintdead:

Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension

  1. "Make me",
  2. "oh really",
  3. "is that so"

"prove it"

"What’s in it for me?"

"The Black Death was one of the most devastating pandemics in human history, resulting in the deaths of an estimated 75 to 200 million people and peaking in Europe in the years 1348–50 CE."

vangoghsdaughter:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

lexlifts:

the-barghinator:

gracefthannah:

boys are fucking stupid

rip his fucking head off

…and then shit on his neck forreal

"I’m gay"
NO NO I BOY AND YOU GIRL AND WHEN I SAY JUMP YOU SAY HOW HIGH

"the polite thing to do is say yes"

hello rape culture

inwhatgalaxy:

An appropriate response to having a child

thecatthatshitsrainbows:

heartbreakmakesyouwiser:

To whoever made this you are a fucking genius my friend

it literally says the persons url in the screen shot

thecatthatshitsrainbows:

heartbreakmakesyouwiser:

To whoever made this you are a fucking genius my friend

it literally says the persons url in the screen shot

kookie667:

Let’s play a game called “I’m totally joking, but would do that in a heartbeat if you were into it”

smugasaurus:

bow-ties-fezzes-and-stetsons:

gordman2:

Humorous Movie Marquee Mash-Ups

Okay there’s no way that last one was an accident

40 year old virgin penguins

inlovewithautumn:

So, about a month ago, me and my younger sister decided to hit up the local thrift store. I stumbled upon this gem.image

For $2, I decided to take this treasure home, and aptly name it “Crying Baby Pumpkin-Head”. When I got home, I realized it had a cord, and plugged into the wall…imageWhat in God’s holy name did I buy this is a soul sucking demon of Satan. 

dirrtyflowerchild:

all-about-living-up:

adeventute time helped me get over my last breakup no fuckin joke i shit u not

literally adventure time knows their shit

we-are-like-young-avocados:

thepondsaregone:

thorinoakenbutt:

castielandpie:

poryqon:

it bothers me that Kansas and Arkansas are not pronounced the same

I’m from the UK and I have been pronouncing Arkansas as Ar-Kansas my whole life

For all my non-american friends, Arkansas is pronounced ark-an-saw

WHAT

WHAT

queerhawkeye:

there is no one expecting dick to taste good though. i’ve never ever once met a cis dude paranoid about his genitals tasting weird or salty or sweaty or whatever. but of course pussy has to taste like fruit and whatever. OF COURSE. 

damncommunists:

ocelhira:

i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because: 

  1. i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i live 
  2. most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white person 
  3. im not a pissbaby

my white friends that have reblogged this give me life

dj-nolife:

stunningpicture:

Our cat waits outside every morning to be with my son when he waits for the bus.


"listen gerald…dont be such a fuck up today"

dj-nolife:

stunningpicture:

Our cat waits outside every morning to be with my son when he waits for the bus.

"listen gerald…dont be such a fuck up today"